a year ago

Exactly one year ago we had these amazingly beautiful family photographs taken by the fabulous Liz Behm. In this moment, life was perfect. There was no news of cancer, no cares or worries, and I was growing a sweet baby in my belly. Little did we know that just a few short weeks later in November (what ended up being the worst month of my life) that our world would change drastically.  Looking back now, these photos hold so much meaning to me; much more than just the typical family photographs. They capture the joy of the perfect life we were blissfully living. They embody carefree moments of hope & optimism. Oh how I wish I could go back and live in this moment in time forever.

Please bear with me as the next month will be very difficult for me. The anniversaries of losing our baby and my diagnosis are moments that I'm dreading reliving/remembering with ever fiber of my being. But I know it's all part of this healing process that I must fight through. And I will.

Month 6: hair 'dos

It's now been 6 months since I finished chemo. How in the world did half a year fly by so quickly?! 

I had the grand idea to measure how much my hair has grown in that time: it's a whopping 3 inches tall/long! I thought the vitamins I've been taking have worked magic, but it turns out that's typical/average hair growth. (says Wikipedia)

I currently have a tender love/hate relationship with my hair. I LOVE that it's growing out but I hate that it's in this funky in-between stage. {It's about one inch away from being a mullet in the back--eeek!} But I know I have to get through this stage so that it can grow out. In just a few short months I'll have enough hair for an adorable bob and I can't wait for that!

Lucky for me, short hair is all the rage in Hollywood right now. And at least I now have a few options for hair 'dos which is very exciting!

One more picture I have to share from this month. This is a billboard put up by Susan G Komen to promote early detection. It truly does save lives -- it saved mine! I never thought A) I'd be a poster child for anything or B) it'd ever be for breast cancer. But God's a funny man with a clever plan!

60 seconds

What would you do if you had 60 seconds to meet/speak with the person [or celebrity] that you most idolize, respect, and admire? When meeting Giuliana this past weekend, I honestly should've been slightly better prepared, and a lil less emotional, but in the end I have no regrets and I'm SO thankful for this opportunity!

There's no denying my love & admiration for Giuliana, all that she is and all that she represents. She has been my biggest source of inspiration to fight the battle I fought over the past year. I've been determined to meet her and share my story with her, especially after my best friend Desiree met her in February.

Enter my other bestie [and Delta Gamma sorority sister], Ashley. A few months ago Ashley came upon an opportunity to see Giuliana speak at our very own sorority's Lectureship at the University of Oklahoma. We immediately took this as a sign -- this was finally our chance to meet G! Ashley, being the amazing friend that she is, took it upon herself to plan out the entire weekend trip for us. After much dedicated research, we also ended up getting invited to the private reception that took place before Giuliana went on to speak. The excitement has been building for the past few weeks! [Brand new dress: check. Matching blue pumps: check.]

 

 a few of the beautiful OU DGs who helped make this all happen!

G is an honorary Delta Gamma sister!

The ladies of Delta Gamma did not disappoint and the reception was beautiful. Giuliana arrived in a whirlwind of smiles, laughter and cameras recording for 2 of her TV shows. Everyone was allowed to go through a receiving line to briefly meet & greet with her. I knew that I had to tell her about Desiree sharing my story with her to see if she remembered. Looking back now, my adrenaline was so high and I'm not even sure I even told her my name! I just showed her the picture of her & Desiree and told her she'd already heard my story. Immediately her faced changed and she said "I remember you!". I could've cried in that moment. She said "You were about to start chemo, I remember!". And then my heart was so content. I couldn't believe that here we were, nine months later, after all the millions of people she meets on a daily basis, and she remembered ME. She asked how I was doing and was so sympathetic to all that I've been through. I swear I could've sat and talked to her over coffee for hours. But alas I was allowed 1 quick photo with her and we were on our way.

Giuliana's speech at the Lectureship was just as amazing as she is. She spoke to all of the trials & tribulations she's worked to overcome in her life. And boy has she worked. What an awesome example she is of someone who has fought through challenges to get to where she is today. Beyond just beating breast cancer, she has triumphed over so much more and leads her life as a positive example of perseverance and strength. 

 

 photo credit: Courtney Mahon Photography

Even though our conversation was brief, I will never forget our time together and the quick bond we shared. Giuliana was so gracious and down to earth. Beautiful inside just as much as she is outside; her compassionate soul radiated the entire time we spoke. I am forever grateful for this experience-- to Ashley and to my other Delta Gamma sisters for making this happen and including me in it.

The night ended with Giuliana replying to my Tweet to her:

Dreams do come true, even if for a brief 60 seconds -- because those fleeting moments created lasting memories for a lifetime!

pinked out

I have a confession to make. When I was first diagnosed and my friends were trying to be supportive and gift me with breast cancer books, shirts, and other paraphernalia-- I was overwhelmed and annoyed. It got to the point where I didn't want to see ANYTHING pink anymore because it made me sick to my stomach. The truth is I was in complete denial. I didn't want anything to do with pink because I couldn't believe or accept that I was now part of this pinkness.

Funny how my emotions completely changed over such a short time. Since coming out on the other side of this battle, I could not be more proud to wear pink. I sport my pink t-shirts to the gym, to Starbucks, to the grocery store, anywhere people will notice it. I even bought a pair of adorable pink stiletto pumps last week.  

I want everyone to know that I'm proud to have fought this battle and to keep fighting it in honor of those who cannot fight anymore. Life has become more meaningful now since learning to embrace pink and all that it represents.

While this is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I want everyone to know that the awareness spans more than just these 31 days of October. Even though the stores are all selling adorable pink products, I'm not going to get into the debate here about where funding goes or how much of it is actually put towards research. A lot of the money raised in the name of breast cancer is NOT used towards prevention or research; most of the funds are spent on more awareness and marketing campaigns.  So if you don't feel comfortable buying pink but still want to support the cause free-of-charge, then I encourage you to sign up for the Health Of Women study by Dr. Susan Love. I've been a part of this research organization since before I was diagnosed and their studies are legitimate and groundbreaking. This new study is all-encompassing and all it requires of you is to sign up and provide [secure] information about you & your health. 

"The HOW Study is a first-of-its-kind international online study for women and men with and without a history of breast cancer.  We will collect information about your health, your job, your diet, and your family history, among other topics that can help us get a better understanding of breast cancer and its potential causes.  Periodically, we will send you questionnaires about anything and everything. All you have to do is fill them out online. It’s that simple. This is a partnership and we need you for the long haul. The more questionnaires you fill out, the more information we will have that can help us have a better understanding of why women get breast cancer"

If you've always wanted to do something to contribute but weren't sure what to do, this is your opportunity. And who knows, you may help save your own life, or that of someone you love. We all have to work together to help to end this horrible disease.