They don't work ... like, at all

At some point in our society, it has become the "norm" to rudely question (& subsequently judge) new mothers about how they choose to feed their babies. We all know breast is best. But for whatever reason, i.e. nursing problems, babies with medical issues, mothers going back to work-- if/when a mom decides not to breastfeed, she frequently feels shamed & scorned by moms everywhere.

This issue became even more disturbing to me after reading this article from a young mother & breast cancer survivor. Now that I am pregnant and will be in her shoes very soon with a newborn, unable to breastfeed, I am completely dreading the stares, questions and ridicules from unknowing strangers. Namely, starting in the hospital when "well-meaning" healthcare professionals seem to bombard you about breastfeeding your new baby. I've already been asked, several times by several different people in the healthcare profession, if I'm going to be breastfeeding this baby. I know they probably meant no harm in asking, but it still astounds me how little is known about the subject. So just to clear up any future confusion-- the short answer is I would LOVE nothing more than to be able to nurse my baby, but sadly no, I physically cannot. A double mastectomy leaves a woman with absolutely no breast tissue or milk ducts, and most of the time without nipples. Yes, I look like I physically have breasts, but they are nothing more than shells of skin that hold silicone implants. And for those, I am extremely grateful because I am able to feel and look feminine. But they serve no other purpose, and never will.

I have researched many alternative options about how to best feed my baby, including milk banks & donor milk. I am so thankful that these options exist for women in similar situations like myself. I have also contacted Susan G Komen to see if they have any partnerships with milk banks or formula companies to help young breast cancer survivors like myself feed their babies. So far no such programs exist, but I am excited about the possibility to be able to help further this research and hopefully foster partnerships in the future. I feel like with the (unfortunate & alarming) increase in young women who are diagnosed before they start/complete their families, the more this will soon pose a greater need among survivors.

To be completely honest, I already feel extreme guilt & sadness over not being able to breastfeed this baby. I would love nothing more than to share that nursing bond with her! Additionally, I know those feelings will only be magnified once she is born and my hormones are in full effect; what a tough & delicate time for a new mom! But the reality of the situation is, because of my double mastectomy, I am ALIVE and I am blessed beyond measure. I was able to beat breast cancer to be here today, to even have the chance to get pregnant and bring this precious miracle baby into the world. So before anyone jumps to judgement, just know that my gratefulness far exceeds my worry about how my baby gets fed. My hope is that by sharing my story it will help others to be careful with their questions and judgements. Every momma has a story, and has walked a journey to get there, so let's all remember to be mindful of her feelings!