Month 9: Hope

"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping stones out of stumbling blocks" -- Jack Penn

The past month has been a very eye-opening one. I had a random stranger contact me, via a mutual friend, because she was 29 yrs old and had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. She'd been led to my blog and was reading up on all that she'd need to know. I cried while reading her email to me, and all I could say in my head was "Thank you, God". Thank you for bringing her to me. Thank you for showing me that this is what my journey was all about -- helping others through their own battle. She's no longer a random stranger, she's a new sister to me, and I am so blessed to be able to give her hope her through her journey.

About this time last year I was told that I could not preserve my fertility and I should not ever try for another pregnancy. At that time I was running on adrenaline and fumes and had no decision making abilities left in my head or heart. So I just went with the flow. Well now that that battle has been won and is long over, I am now focusing on overcoming another obstacle: having another baby. If you know me, you know how persistent I am; I don't take no for an answer. I have spent the past few months researching, educating myself, and reaching out to experts/specialists/doctors to seek advice for my future. I have received A LOT of positive information and encouragement. Hope that I can - and hopefully will - someday have another child of my own. It is actually less risky that what was originally presented to me; however there is definitely still a small risk in becoming pregnant. But I have renewed hope in this process through all that I have learned. I truly believe that God is now leading me faithfully through another journey so that I may continue to trust in Him and His plan. I have no idea what the end of this will look like, but I know that He will guide us through it just like He has once before.

And of course I have to update my hair -- 9 months post chemo. It is now finally long enough to highlight (with foil!) Trivial, I know. But exciting to me nonetheless! It is starting to look more like an intentional haircut - albeit a "mini bob", but it is definitely feeling more & more normal to me!

And just to top this month off, I love the fortune from my fortune cookie tonight. It pretty much sums up what my {new} journey is all about. I refuse to back down until every door is otherwise shut! I will keep fighting!